If you were here then you would see the simplicity of my facial expression. I am not happy. I can’t control if I am happy nor if I am sad. Things happen, things trigger old memories and or old emotions. I hate this. The girl I love is bothered by me when this happens and most of the time doesn’t know what’s happening. I feel sad. Then I feel happy again for a while I wish I had a grip on my emotions. I feel broken, I need to be fixed. Cause when I push her away when I’m sad I’m really just begging for her to care more and show me she loves me. I hate me. But she doesn’t. And I really like that I know someone cares about me and wants to hear the things I have to say. She describes me using words like cute and perfect, it puts a smile on my face but I know it is not true. She is perfect though. She doesn’t even see her own true beauty. It bothers me, to be honest the girl I’m with,(the love of my life) to me seems breath taking and rather gorgeous. To me I TRUELY believe she is perfect and all her imperfections are wonderful cause they define her and make her unique and I love that. I love her do much. It’s hard to believe I have been on and off with this girl for 5 years. Since 2009. She was my middle school sweetheart and is my high school sweetheart. It’s our senior year, we plan to spend our lives together. I’m so excited. I hope she is too. There is so much I need to say but I don’t know how to say it or express it.
